I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
