Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
