if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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