oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
