I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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