I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
