He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
