Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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