He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
