im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
