So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
