i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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