Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
