It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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