I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
