the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
