did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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