He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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