return my video game
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
