shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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