she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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