there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
