I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i think my cat just said my name.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
