Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
