There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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