i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
