and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
