So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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