My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
