Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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