I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
