She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
