yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
