just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
