I understand Curling. That high.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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