Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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