The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
