she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
