I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
