ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
