Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
