I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
