So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
