I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
