YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
