We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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