hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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