i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
