so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
