high people should be assigned attendants
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
