You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
