Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
