cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
